Here's something I've had on my mind lately and I would love to hear thoughts on it.
I can't wrap my mind around the purpose of pain and suffering. Now, I see the purpose of pain and suffering in my life. Law school was hard. I cried a lot. The first two months of Claire's life were hard. I went nutso from sleep deprivation. It's hard for Tyler and I to not know where we're going to end up, what's going to happen to us. We both really miss our families and wish that they could see Claire grow and be adorable. Day to day life feels really tough sometimes.
But I get those trials. You struggle, you talk and pray about them, you come out a little more humble or smarter or faithful, or whatever it is you need to learn from them.
Then you hear about women getting gang raped in the Congo or Chernobyl orphans with sickening birth defects getting manhandled by nurses in orphanages or abused kids getting kicked around foster homes with no support system and you wonder, is there a point where tribulation is just...I mean, what is the point of that kind of deep, naked suffering?
(And what did I do to deserve my life? Nothing. Hence, my guilt).
I can't wrap my mind around the purpose of pain and suffering. Now, I see the purpose of pain and suffering in my life. Law school was hard. I cried a lot. The first two months of Claire's life were hard. I went nutso from sleep deprivation. It's hard for Tyler and I to not know where we're going to end up, what's going to happen to us. We both really miss our families and wish that they could see Claire grow and be adorable. Day to day life feels really tough sometimes.
But I get those trials. You struggle, you talk and pray about them, you come out a little more humble or smarter or faithful, or whatever it is you need to learn from them.
Then you hear about women getting gang raped in the Congo or Chernobyl orphans with sickening birth defects getting manhandled by nurses in orphanages or abused kids getting kicked around foster homes with no support system and you wonder, is there a point where tribulation is just...I mean, what is the point of that kind of deep, naked suffering?
(And what did I do to deserve my life? Nothing. Hence, my guilt).
Well...a lot of deep thought for a monday afternoon. I guess I feel really grateful for the knowledge that God is over all. And that suffering is part of his plan, and that he is a perfect parent, with a perfect plan. I find it difficult to understand all of the intense suffering that goes on as well. I have to remind myself that I have a very limited, veil covered understanding of life, and that God sees the whole purpose...and that I can't see much at all really, compared to him. It does make me immeseley grateful for the life I have been given. In comparison to the suffering that goes on...I live a very charmed and comfortable life. Thanks for reminding me today.
ReplyDeleteI'm with you, Deb. I don't really understand, either. I think that's the point...I know not, save the Lord commanded me. I think pain and suffering of that magnitude is not to be understood, just endured. Don't you think that is how our piddly trials are, too? I think that all we can do is try to have faith that Heavenly Father is going to right all of the gross unfairness in this life. I hate those days, it just feels overwhelming. Hope your day is better, now...Lahvoo :)
ReplyDeleteThis is a quote that rang very true to me...i really hope and believe it to be true.
ReplyDeleteC.S. Lewis
"That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, "No future bliss can make up for it," not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory. And of some sinful pleasure they say "Let me have but this and I'll take the consequences": little dreaming how damnation will spread back and back into their past and contaminate the pleasure of the sin. Both processes begin even before death. The good man's past begins to change so that his forgiven sins and remembered sorrows take on the quality of Heaven: the bad man's past already conforms to his badness and is filled only with dreariness. And that is why, at the end of all things, when the sun rises here and the twilight turns to blackness down there, the Blessed will say "We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven," and the Lost, "We were always in Hell." And both will speak truly."
I'm reading a book right now that addresses this very question, "The Shack". Tough subject matter, but I think it addresses it very well.
ReplyDelete