Nice fella

Yesterday, during a lesson about marriage, our Sunday school teacher asked Tyler why he married me. (No, not like "why did you marry her?") I wasn't there, but Tyler informed me his answer went something like "she was the most wonderful woman I had ever met."

(This was, of course, after he convinced me that he said "boobs" and everyone had a good laugh).
It made me feel really happy and romantic and I think it was really sweet of him (what is it about a public demonstration of love that gives me such a shot in the arm?).

I thought a lot about it all day, though. Because the more Tyler and I live and work and raise babies together I think about how little information each of us had going into this marriage.

I don't think choosing a marriage partner is a total crapshoot. But there is a heeeuge element of risk to it simply because it takes two. It takes another person, with all their annoying personal agency, to help you make a marriage good and loving and honest and authentic (and this doesn't even take into account all the ways that you can fail).

But here is what I knew about Tyler before I ever lived or slept or parented with him:

1. I knew he was kind to others.
2. I knew he had a strong testimony of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.
3. I knew he was a thoughtful listener who wasn't afraid to take responsibility.
4. I knew that it made him happy to please me.
5. I knew that I really, really loved him.

Thankfully, these have all proved lasting. And I love our marriage. This doesn't mean (a) that Tyler's perfect, (b) that I'm perfect, (c) that we we have the perfect marriage, or (d) that we have never hurt each other. It just means that he's a good man who tries hard, and that is such a vital place to start.