Can't Smile Without You

Barry Manilow took me on a trip through time again this morning.

His song, "Can't Smile Without You" used to play on my grandparents jukebox outside by their pool in northern California, where we would swim on sunny days. And it was our song, ours and our grandparents, my gracious, eye-rolling, never-got-mad-even-when-I-accidentally-burned-a spot-on-her-kitchen-cabinet grandma Alice and my barrel-chested, silly-song-singing, strongest-personality-ever Popie (grandpa Mardee).

With Grandma Alice while pregnant with Claire

And I just thought, my childhood. It was ridiculously carefree and innocent and safe. Thanks to my loving and supportive parents, obviously (I guess that's another post), but also because we had love on all sides - from grandparents, too.

And once again, my mind goes there. How did I deserve this? This network of love and protection? I believe every living soul is loved beyond their capacity to understand, no matter who or where they are. But my entire life, it was so easy to see and identify. I was kissed and cuddled and hugged and laughed-at and educated and prayed over. Maybe, instead of obsessing over why, why me, I should just focus on being grateful for it.

(Once again. Barry comes through).


  1. Wow, Barry is really inspiring the Deb! He is an amazingly scary looking, possibly gay man. Who doesn't love him? Our childhood was sheer awesomeness, especially the time and Popi and Grandma's house. I loved it so much, it has really influenced my life!


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