Sometimes when I can't sleep I fantasize about having superpowers. Just in case you were wondering, these would be some of my top picks:

That's the big one. You can fly with this one. Make someone else fly. The possibilities are endless. But most importantly, you can clean up an entire toy room without putting your newborn down.

I would teleport to Syria, Iraq, Somalia, North Korea...the list is long. I would teleport to those places, all day long, and just take oppressors/abusers/a-holes to jail. Just take 'em to jail! Oh to see Kim Jong Un's face. Or any member of ISIS. Teleportation, people.

I would teleport to the Golden Globes or Academy Awards and just sit and listen to celebrities gossip about each other. This, too, is right up there in the top 1% of fun things to do. Oh, you'd rather go on a beautiful hike and reflect on all of God's creations? Well good for you. Go do that. You probably prefer kale to chocolate pudding. Which is why we're not friends.

The ultimate super power, for this particular time and place in my life, would be the power to make a toddler stop screaming while trying to put a newborn to sleep.

Cute, right? Notice that you can't hear either of them. Enjoy the picture.


  1. I want the teleportation, so that I can eat Kale and enjoy God's creations in your house for lunch every dang day.


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