How I Choose an NFL Team

How I Choose Which NFL Team to Root For (applies to college ball, as well):

1. How do I feel about the city?

It would take a lot for me to root for the Saints because I don't like New Orleans. The San Francisco 49ers, however, enjoy a presumption of awesomeness because, well, San Francisco.

2. Is their quarterback a pretty boy?

I don't know why, but pretty boy quarterbacks really bother me. I took quite evil pleasure in the slow fizzle of Matt Leinart (playing at USC right around the time I started paying attention to football).

The ultimate pretty boy quarterback is, of course, Tom Brady. I can't even talk about him this morning. Except to say that I am sick to death of his heroic fourth quarter drives. Sick of them!

3. Are there one or two players on there I can get behind and admire?

The coach fits in here. For the Superbowl this year, I was not happy about Seattle/New England. So I took a look at their coaches to try and get some feeling one way or the other. 
  • Bill Belichick: Sullen. Grumpy. Sloppy. Has the whiff of unapologetic cheater about him.
  • Pete Carroll: Energetic. Willing to talk to the press. Seems really positive. Has the whiff of apologetic cheater about him.

Therefore, I was rooting for the Seahawks last night, because West > East, Russell Wilson > Tom Brady, and Pete Carroll > Bill Belichick.

I swear, my teams always lose! Tyler calls it defensive pessimism, but seriously! This game is proof!