A speaker in church once said , with no hint of humor, that she and her husband were “still just as in love as the day we were married.” They had been married six weeks.
The nice thing about being married ten years is that you can start talking about what it means to be married and to be in love. People will still roll their eyes, but it’s because you are old and out-of-touch, not because you haven’t been married long enough to give advice.
When you date someone, you put your best foot forward. This is what makes marriage a gamble. There are always things you don’t know about someone until you have lived with them for a few years. There are always surprises-- some pleasant and some unpleasant. Even if you did know everything about someone when you got married, people change over time. The person you married is never the person you are married to.
I lucked out, both in the person I married ten years ago and the person Debra has become, ten years later.
The Debra I married was fun, enthusiastic, and eager for adventure. Now she is a dedicated, loving mother and a patient wife. More than when we were first married, she is comfortable doing the right-but-unpopular thing. She has become less concerned with how things appear and more concerned with how things actually are.
Something else that has changed about Debra: When we were first married, she misplaced her phone about once a week. Now, she loses it a minimum of three times a day. “Will you call my phone?” is the single most frequently-spoken sentence out of her mouth.
She is as fun and enthusiastic as ever. She gets really excited and happy for every trip we take, every lunch we have, and every social event we attend—any opportunity to chat with friends and family. Even really small things, like a new song or pleasant-smelling detergent or fancy new comb, make her radiate happiness.
She is also still eager for adventure. She plans hikes and trips (and I drag my feet). She would have us vacationing in Kazakhstan by the end of the week if possible. Seriously. Kazakhstan.
So please join me in raising a digital toast/high-five to the past ten, and to the next ten.