Slow Runners Unite

This is how I feel about running.

I love it while doing a 13 minute mile.

Is it possible to do a 13 minute mile, you ask? Isn't that just walking? Actually, no. You can manage to jog a 13 minute mile. And it is fantastic.

Long about the 12 minute mile I start thinking "this is really, really hard. I've got about, ohhh, five more minutes in me."

The 11 minute mile? It's just misery, really. I think about stopping every second until I've stopped, unless Fall Out Boy is playing "My Songs Know What You Did in the Dark," then I keep going. Then when the chorus is over I think about stopping every second until I've stopped.

One of the two 5Ks I have run in my entire life.

The 10 minute mile? I don't know. I've never run a 10 minute mile longer than 30 seconds.

For anyone who feels relieved that they're not the only slow runner in the world, I present myself to you as a kindred spirit. Let's drink Coke Zero and find a Netflix show to binge-watch. I will meet you in the year 2020, when my youngest is finally in first grade.


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